My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
