school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize