After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
