it wasn't lemon gatorade
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
