I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
