Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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