i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
