i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
