I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
