oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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