how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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