Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
