What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
