Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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