If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
