i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Text me some of your sweat
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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