the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
