she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
