I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
