I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
