i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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