physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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