heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize