it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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