what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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