Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
