He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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