He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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