were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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