Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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