i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
