Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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