so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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