I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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