You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
