I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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