The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
babies were throwing up all over the place
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
