Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
