i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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