maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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