Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
no you cant smoke seaweed
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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