I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
