I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
