No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
