Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
