Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
