I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
