Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
