Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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