Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
