Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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