hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize