yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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