I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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