She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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