he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just gift wrapped bread.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
