I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
