Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize