I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
