I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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