I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
