Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
