then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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