70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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