I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
