Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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